This is a summary of a great book my sister brought me from UK
last week. It is a seven step-programme for stress-free living.
As I enjoyed reading it I though that summarising it would bring
easily the point to ther people without having to go through 160 pages.
A seven step programme for stress-free living. Ultimate relaxation.
Eddie and Debbie Shapiro.
Part 1
Stress.
Stress response is dependent on our own perceptions, attitudes and
beliefs. If we think easeful and relaxing thoughts we will bring about
the relaxation response. If we think we are getting stressed we are more
likely to induce the stress response.
Relaxation.
In a relaxed state we can view disturbances for what they are without
letting them affect us negatively. We stay balanced and not judgemental,
not focusing in the inconvenience to ourselves.
When we are relaxed our feelings of fear, anxiety and hopelessness
decrease.
We can be more tolerant with others, maintain our self-esteem
and self-confidence.
When you want to swap from a stress state to a relaxed state you
need to watch your thoughts.
We connect with our inner joy, our happiness is unconditional,
knows no limitations or restrictions, our happiness is not dependent
on anyone or anything else.
Responsibility.
We can only move from stress response to relaxation response
when we decide to take responsibility. Blaming others or our
circumstances for our stress, complicates matters, creating chaos,
resolving nothing. When we accept that, more often than not our
external circumstances are actually a reflection of what is going on
inside ourselves. Our relatioship with ourselves influences directly
our relationship with others. More we are relaxed, more we are able
to make our own needs known more clearly.
Self-acceptance.
Making friends with ourselves means aknowledging everything -
both the good and the not so good. We need to be aware of and
accept every part of ourselves. This means seeing ourselves just
as we are, not as we would like to be. All the ways in which we
dismiss our feelings and the judgements we make about
ourselves disturb our inner tranquility.
Overcoming the obstacles.
When fear turns to anxiety it acts as an anaethetic, numbing our
deeper feelings and paralysing us from moving forward.
Anxiety is based on the possibility something happening,
on thought of being wrong or incompetent, or on an imagined
negative outcome. We are often convinced that the actions of
others are responsible for our feelings, when in fact no one can
actually makes us angry - the anger is with ourselves,
no anyone else.
The courage to CHANGE.
If we wanna change the world we first need to change
oursleves.
We learn directly from our parents and teachers, often
adopting ideas about religion, race, sex, money, work,
relationships, even the meaning of life. Rather than blaming
our parents for having passed their prejudiced or confused
views on to us, we can be grateful that we now have the
awareness to change such limited views.
Awareness itself is transformative.
As we get older we begin to form our own opinions and
beliefs, but it is not always easy to express these, especially if
it means going against the grain, but there is also a tremendous
feeling of liberation within it.
Change is the essence of life. If we resist change we cannot
live life fully.
From me to you.
Relationships give meaning, purpose and joy to our lives.
However our relationship to ourselves colours and influences
any communication we have with others.We need to be aware
of the importance of being open and honest with those who are
close to us. Repressed feelings do not just disappear - they stay
locked inside, influencing our attitudes and behaviour.
Awareness is the key.
Open communication.
Communication is an essential life skill. Through it we expand our
understanding, go beyond separate selves into the heart of others, and
know that we are part of something much greater than ourselves.
Just through the tone of your voice and the words you speak you can
increase intimacy, safety and love. Conversely, you can cause hurt,
rejection and conflict.
When stress levels are rising we stop being able to listen. There is
no room inside us for anyone or anything else, we are filled with
oursleves and our problems. Yet it is precisely when a more
meaningful communication with others is required. Even at the
best of the times, many of us find communication difficult because
we don't know how to express our feelings. As children we
may not have been encouraged to share our hopes or fears,
but were taught to keep our feelings to ourselves, to suffer
in silence.
Tenderheartedness.
Forgiveness cannot be separated from love. It arises as a natural
expression of the heart. Once we can accept that we are all human,
we see that we are all capable of making mistakes, of hurting each
other. When we are angry we lose touch with our inner heart.
Not being able to forgive only creates further suffering within us.
